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Male Survivor Stories

We often hear men say that they thought they were the only one who’d been through something like sexual abuse or assault. The truth is that millions of men all over the world have had these experiences, and come out the other side to live whole, meaningful lives. Below, you’ll find stories and portraits of over 90 brave men who have volunteered to be open and public about what they’ve experienced, and what they’ve done not only to survive, but to thrive. This area is regularly updated with new stories, so keep coming back.

You are not alone.

Alain Kabenga

“That I can stand before camera, that I can stand before people and talk—it has been a long journey.”

View his story

Alan

Speaking out publicly and working to change Georgia’s statute of limitation laws have...

Speaking out publicly and working to change Georgia’s statute of limitation laws have helped to Alan to get his power back, a crucial step in his healing.

Alan's Story

Alan

Profoundly neglected as a child, then sexually abused by priests, Alan has finally foun...

Profoundly neglected as a child, then sexually abused by priests, Alan has finally found a community among fellow survivors at MSSAT in Christchurch, New Zealand.

Alan's Story

Alastair

Alastair has transformed his own trauma by creating community resources for fellow surv...

Alastair has transformed his own trauma by creating community resources for fellow survivors, from Leicester, England to Phnom Penh, Cambodia, and soon beyond.

Alastair's Story

Andrew

“[Poetry] seemed like the best way to express some of the things that were going ...

“[Poetry] seemed like the best way to express some of the things that were going on for me.”

Andrew's Story

Andy

Andy overcame years of addiction and now helps others who are learning to live their li...

Andy overcame years of addiction and now helps others who are learning to live their lives free of drugs and alcohol.

Andy's Story

Barry

After 46 years of silence, Barry finally disclosed his secret, and now he is looking ah...

After 46 years of silence, Barry finally disclosed his secret, and now he is looking ahead to a new life of openness and activism.

Barry's Story

Bill Johnson

Nightmarish memories have forced Bill to re-define his childhood, but he has embraced the challenge and the meaning it has given to the rest of his life.

View his story

Bjarne

After confronting the emotional legacies of the abuse, Bjarne Kristian rediscovered the...

After confronting the emotional legacies of the abuse, Bjarne Kristian rediscovered the fearless boy who hurtled off ski jumps in the Norwegian hills.

Bjarne's Story

Brent

“I guess what led me to come forward is these emotions were just rising.”

“I guess what led me to come forward is these emotions were just rising.”

Brent's Story

Brent

Overcoming a childhood ravaged by severe domestic violence and sexual abuse, Brent has ...

Overcoming a childhood ravaged by severe domestic violence and sexual abuse, Brent has found within himself a wellspring of compassion for himself, and for those who harmed him.

Brent's Story

Bret

“I’m no longer comfortable being a survivor in silence.”

...

“I’m no longer comfortable being a survivor in silence.”

Bret's Story

Brett

Brett is transforming the trauma of abuse through his art and spirituality, using film ...

Brett is transforming the trauma of abuse through his art and spirituality, using film and music to heal the wounds of his childhood.

Brett's Story

Brian

“I am becoming the man that I needed when I was a child.”

...

“I am becoming the man that I needed when I was a child.”

Brian's Story

Brian Brozovic

“We have to feel. We have to. We have to break out beyond… the ‘man box.'”

View his story

Brigham

“Coming alive has been a liberation. Not all at once. It is happening day by day....

“Coming alive has been a liberation. Not all at once. It is happening day by day.”

Brigham's Story

Callen

An iron will, “Irish stubbornness,” and the written word have carried Callen from a...

An iron will, “Irish stubbornness,” and the written word have carried Callen from a childhood of abuse to an adulthood as a successful playwright and activist on behalf of male survivors.

Callen's Story

Cam

A collegiate soccer goalkeeper, now a husband, a father and yoga instructor, Cam is on ...

A collegiate soccer goalkeeper, now a husband, a father and yoga instructor, Cam is on a lifelong journey of healing.

Cam's Story

Christian

“Don’t hesitate. Find a friend, find a buddy, because there’s always someone ...

“Don’t hesitate. Find a friend, find a buddy, because there’s always someone out there listening, and believe me people want to listen and help.”

Christian's Story

Daniel

A fierce commitment to healing, to honesty, and to his creative talents has propelled D...

A fierce commitment to healing, to honesty, and to his creative talents has propelled Daniel along the road to recovery.

Daniel's Story

Darrel

“I’m not gonna complain about the road I had to travel because I like where...

“I’m not gonna complain about the road I had to travel because I like where I am.”

Darrel's Story

Colin Elliott

Colin became the end of life caretaker for the man who, fifty years earlier, has abused him for many years; because he was able to forgive the man, his brother.

View his story

Dave

Dave found solace in books, and meaning through language, and courage in the act of dis...

Dave found solace in books, and meaning through language, and courage in the act of disclosure.

Dave's Story

David

After years of shame and self-blame, David has found a way to re-connect with himself, ...

After years of shame and self-blame, David has found a way to re-connect with himself, emotionally and spiritually.

David's Story

David

Only when he began to confront what had been so long hidden did David begin to free him...

Only when he began to confront what had been so long hidden did David begin to free himself from its effects.

David's Story

David

Faith, loving parents, his stalwart father, and musical talent helped David reclaim his...

Faith, loving parents, his stalwart father, and musical talent helped David reclaim his life and recover from a childhood rape that could have shattered him.

David's Story

Dennis

With his faith in God and in himself, and with the help of an “angel,” Dennis is tu...

With his faith in God and in himself, and with the help of an “angel,” Dennis is turning around a life marred by sexual trauma and drug abuse.

Dennis's Story

Desmond

Therapy, meditation and perseverance have enabled Desmond to heal himself after years o...

Therapy, meditation and perseverance have enabled Desmond to heal himself after years of abuse by a family member.

Desmond's Story

David Pittman

With the help of family and friends, David battled his way back from addiction to confront and overcome the abuse that had destroyed his faith.

View his story

Don

Faith and determination have helped Don to overcome the abuse he suffered and to look a...

Faith and determination have helped Don to overcome the abuse he suffered and to look ahead to a career in counseling fellow survivors.

Don's Story

Douglas

Through treatment, and through a decades-long meditation practice, Douglas has experien...

Through treatment, and through a decades-long meditation practice, Douglas has experienced genuine healing.

Douglas's Story

Ed

Ed has battled against abuse, bullying, betrayal and indifferent government agencies. H...

Ed has battled against abuse, bullying, betrayal and indifferent government agencies. He’s now setting his sights on a new start in a very different land.

Ed's Story

Eelim

A sublime sense of humor, an iron will, and talking with fellow survivors are helping E...

A sublime sense of humor, an iron will, and talking with fellow survivors are helping Eelim to overcome the legacies of severe trauma.

Eelim's Story

Emery

Abused as a child by a priest, it was in prison that Emery re-connected with his Maori ...

Abused as a child by a priest, it was in prison that Emery re-connected with his Maori roots and found the strength to pursue healing and re-connection with fellow survivors.

Emery's Story

Eric

The loss of his older brother launched Eric on the path to healing, and ultimately to b...

The loss of his older brother launched Eric on the path to healing, and ultimately to breaking a lifetime of silence.

Eric's Story

Dugal Armour

With the steadfast support of his wife, and with capable hands that turn found objects into sculpture, Dugal has confronted the past and become a leader for fellow survivors.

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Frank

Frank has disentangled the knots created by his abuse, and liberated the poet and music...

Frank has disentangled the knots created by his abuse, and liberated the poet and musician that lies within him.

Frank's Story

Gino

Gino credits his faith in God and loving family – his wife and three children – wit...

Gino credits his faith in God and loving family – his wife and three children – with giving the strength to overcome his traumatic childhood.

Gino's Story

Graham

Graham found safety and strength in the forests of northern Ontario, and in his own roo...

Graham found safety and strength in the forests of northern Ontario, and in his own roots in the Ojibway nation.

Graham's Story

Greg

Greg has transformed childhood trauma into “a fractured but effective healing” by d...

Greg has transformed childhood trauma into “a fractured but effective healing” by drawing on his own and his Nana’s integrity and resolve.

Greg's Story

Greg

A work colleague, a priest, therapists, fellow survivors, and Greg’s own courage and ...

A work colleague, a priest, therapists, fellow survivors, and Greg’s own courage and perseverance have enabled him to confront the past and open up a hopeful future.

Greg's Story

Hank

Hank Estrada has found peace in the serene landscape of New Mexico, and love in his 30 ...

Hank Estrada has found peace in the serene landscape of New Mexico, and love in his 30 year relationship with his life partner.

Hank's Story

Geoff Cavell

An ex-policeman and now a successful businessman, Geoff has also had to master the inner world of hurt and pain that are the legacies of the sexual abuse he suffered as a child.

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Iciyapitate

Matching the tenacity of his wounded soul, Iciyapitate has confronted the legacies of t...

Matching the tenacity of his wounded soul, Iciyapitate has confronted the legacies of the savage abuse that marred his childhood and looks forward now to a life of caring.

Iciyapitate's Story

Isaac

Growing up gay in an often hostile world, and suffering abuse, are challenges that Isaa...

Growing up gay in an often hostile world, and suffering abuse, are challenges that Isaac has navigated without losing his magnetic smile.

Isaac's Story

Jack

A soul mate, a community of fellow survivors in Christchurch, and poetry have all helpe...

A soul mate, a community of fellow survivors in Christchurch, and poetry have all helped Jack to survive and emerge from a childhood devastated by trauma.

Jack's Story

James

Confronting the legacies of generations of sexual abuse within his family, James now lo...

Confronting the legacies of generations of sexual abuse within his family, James now looks ahead to helping fellow survivors as a victim advocate.

James's Story

James

James marshaled the resources he needed to launch his recovery, and now shares his love...

James marshaled the resources he needed to launch his recovery, and now shares his love with abused and neglected dogs.

James's Story

Jaron

Jaron found the inner strength and the external help he needed to overcome childhood ab...

Jaron found the inner strength and the external help he needed to overcome childhood abuse, adult trauma, and discrimination, and he still smiles infectiously.

Jaron's Story

Harold Glen Hull

Surviving a childhood of horrendous torture, Glen turns his passion for life to helping his fellow survivors.

View his story

Jay

A Lieutenant Colonel in the Army and FBI agent, Jay has confronted and overcome challen...

A Lieutenant Colonel in the Army and FBI agent, Jay has confronted and overcome challenges out in the world and within himself.

Jay's Story

Jean-Paul

A profound spiritual faith, tenacity, and the help of good men and women saved Jean-Pau...

A profound spiritual faith, tenacity, and the help of good men and women saved Jean-Paul from a childhood that even Dickens could not have fathomed.

Jean-Paul's Story

Jeff

Abuse at seven, and a survivor of his sister’s homicide at 14, Jeff has devoted his l...

Abuse at seven, and a survivor of his sister’s homicide at 14, Jeff has devoted his life to other survivors and to protecting their rights in the court system.

Jeff's Story

Jeff

After decades of secrecy, disclosure, the realization that he is not alone, and counsel...

After decades of secrecy, disclosure, the realization that he is not alone, and counseling have “lifted a lid” off of Jeff’s life.

Jeff's Story

Jim

Casting off the burden of shame he had carried for many years, Jim has become an advoca...

Casting off the burden of shame he had carried for many years, Jim has become an advocate for fellow survivors.

Jim's Story

Jim

A veteran psychiatric nurse, Jim has transformed the trauma of the boarding school rape...

A veteran psychiatric nurse, Jim has transformed the trauma of the boarding school rape that scarred his childhood, turning it into compassion and insight that serves others in pain.

Jim's Story

Jason Lee

By confronting his abuser – in court and at parole hearings – Jason has transformed trauma into staunch advocacy, for himself and other survivors.

View his story

Joe

When he began reckoning with the legacies of the abuse he had suffered as a child, Joe ...

When he began reckoning with the legacies of the abuse he had suffered as a child, Joe discovered the true meaning of the message, “you are not alone.”

Joe's Story

Joe

After many years in addiction and in prison, Joe has been clean since 2007 and is looki...

After many years in addiction and in prison, Joe has been clean since 2007 and is looking forward to the publication of his memoirs.

Joe's Story

Joel

Today, through writing and counseling, Joel is on the mend, and he and his wife, Amy, a...

Today, through writing and counseling, Joel is on the mend, and he and his wife, Amy, are closer than ever.

Joel's Story

John

John promised that if he received help he would devote himself to helping other childre...

John promised that if he received help he would devote himself to helping other children who suffered abuse.

John's Story

John

Abused by a family member, John found support and love in his family and a path toward ...

Abused by a family member, John found support and love in his family and a path toward healing the legacies of his stolen childhood.

John's Story

Julian

It took years, and hard work to tame his drinking and his anger, but today Julian can e...

It took years, and hard work to tame his drinking and his anger, but today Julian can enjoy simple and profound pleasures, like holding his son and watching him grow.

Julian's Story

Jim Clemente

Jim went to the FBI/NYPD Sexual Exploitation of Children Task Force and they asked him to wear a wire.

View his story

Keith

It took an “angel,” now his wife, Diane, to help Keith heal from the scars of sexua...

It took an “angel,” now his wife, Diane, to help Keith heal from the scars of sexual abuse and betrayal perpetrated by a Catholic priest and music director.

Keith's Story

Ken

Ken fought the world – literally and figuratively – until he found his way into a p...

Ken fought the world – literally and figuratively – until he found his way into a peer support group for male survivors, and he has never looked back.

Ken's Story

Kirk

Faith and poetry are giving Kirk the strength to confront the abuse that marred his chi...

Faith and poetry are giving Kirk the strength to confront the abuse that marred his childhood.

Kirk's Story

Lee

After a career in the British Army, Lee became a detective, transforming his childhood ...

After a career in the British Army, Lee became a detective, transforming his childhood trauma into a gift for earning the trust of victims of sexual violence.

Lee's Story

Lewis

Faith, hope, and love, entwined with his Maori roots, have helped Lewis to survive a ch...

Faith, hope, and love, entwined with his Maori roots, have helped Lewis to survive a childhood marred by family violence, and an adulthood marked by acute grief.

Lewis's Story

M.E.

A deep spiritual connection, inner strength and intelligence have guided Hart from seve...

A deep spiritual connection, inner strength and intelligence have guided Hart from severe trauma to a present filled with compassion and professional accomplishment.

M.E.'s Story

John Benton

John faced down his abuser, 25 years later, and found the road to redemption.

View his story

Marcel

A lifelong relationship with God and music have guided Marcel’s healing from a brutal...

A lifelong relationship with God and music have guided Marcel’s healing from a brutal assault and motivated his work to mentor boys and men who also need a guide.

Marcel's Story

Mark

Composing a suicide note to his teenage son, Mark instead found himself unburdening him...

Composing a suicide note to his teenage son, Mark instead found himself unburdening himself of decades of secrecy. In this act came the liberation from shame and reconnection with others.

Mark's Story

Mark

Mark is able to transform his pain through music…

...

Mark is able to transform his pain through music…

Mark's Story

Martin

With help from an “angel,” Marty found his voice, and today makes his living as a w...

With help from an “angel,” Marty found his voice, and today makes his living as a writer, an actor, a singer and a playwright.

Martin's Story

Mason

A Major in the US Army, a seasoned attorney, a veteran of the Iraq War, and a survivor ...

A Major in the US Army, a seasoned attorney, a veteran of the Iraq War, and a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Mason looks ahead to a new chapter after he retires from the Military.

Mason's Story

Matt

Years of sexual abuse as a child led to years of drug and alcohol abuse and violence as...

Years of sexual abuse as a child led to years of drug and alcohol abuse and violence as a member of one of New Zealand’s motorcycle gangs. Then came a life-altering moment in a church.

Matt's Story

Lamarkus Ellis

His openness to others, his capacity to listen to his inner voice, and the loving support of family have nurtured Lamarkus on the path to recovery.

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Michael

Michael’s ready smile and his capacity to connect with other people survived and thri...

Michael’s ready smile and his capacity to connect with other people survived and thrived despite his childhood marred by sexual abuse.

Michael's Story

Michael

Reading about courageous stories of survival; and ultimately, music, saved Michael Skin...

Reading about courageous stories of survival; and ultimately, music, saved Michael Skinner.

Michael's Story

Mitch

Tapping into a reservoir of courage and determination, and with the help of a patient t...

Tapping into a reservoir of courage and determination, and with the help of a patient therapist, Mitch is overcoming sexual abuse and years of addiction.

Mitch's Story

Ned

Transforming suffering into compassion and action, Ned leads an organization that bring...

Transforming suffering into compassion and action, Ned leads an organization that brings water, and visibility, to villagers around the world who have otherwise been passed over.

Ned's Story

Patrick

Patrick has been rebuilding his capacity to trust, and his openness to intimacy with ot...

Patrick has been rebuilding his capacity to trust, and his openness to intimacy with others.

Patrick's Story

Paul

For many years Paul lived with the misplaced burden that he was somehow responsible for...

For many years Paul lived with the misplaced burden that he was somehow responsible for abuse that derailed him. Confronting the abuse has freed him from that burden.

Paul's Story

Mark Godoy, Jr.

A keen intellect and artistic talent have allowed Mark to express and define his pain, and they are leading him along an accelerating path toward healing.

View his story

Peter

Peter has sought to infuse his work with his capacity to see those who use their power ...

Peter has sought to infuse his work with his capacity to see those who use their power to harm others, not as monsters, but as human beings in their full complexity.

Peter's Story

Phil

A breakdown at age 40, painful, but embraced, has led to a man now at peace with both p...

A breakdown at age 40, painful, but embraced, has led to a man now at peace with both pain and the transformation of pain, and with connection to others.

Phil's Story

Randy

Randy’s inner strength has been tested and found to be solid; able to support not onl...

Randy’s inner strength has been tested and found to be solid; able to support not only his own recovery, but that of other survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

Randy's Story

Raymond

Religious faith has helped restore Raymond’s capacity to trust, and therefore to conn...

Religious faith has helped restore Raymond’s capacity to trust, and therefore to connect with others. In so doing it is healing the breach created by four years of sexual abuse.

Raymond's Story

Rees

Rees has transformed the darkest hours of his life into a commitment to his own healing...

Rees has transformed the darkest hours of his life into a commitment to his own healing, and to the healing of fellow survivors in South Africa.

Rees's Story

Richard

Targeted because he was “different,” both within and outside his family, Richard ba...

Targeted because he was “different,” both within and outside his family, Richard battled back to become a successful professional and married man who is no longer defined by his tormenters.

Richard's Story

Michael Kullik

A penchant for poetry and an operatic voice have helped Michael to heal the deep wounds inflicted on him from a childhood scarred by incest and betrayal.

View his story

Rocky

Today, Rocky’s eyes glitter with life and determination, despite decades of life burd...

Today, Rocky’s eyes glitter with life and determination, despite decades of life burdens and a childhood scarred by abuse.

Rocky's Story

Scott

Healing from severe sexual abuse has been a decades-long commitment for Scott, to recla...

Healing from severe sexual abuse has been a decades-long commitment for Scott, to reclaim his voice, to tame his anger, and ultimately to forgive.

Scott's Story

Sean

Sean wrestled for much of his life with the demons set loose by years of abuse as a chi...

Sean wrestled for much of his life with the demons set loose by years of abuse as a child, but he has found connection in the community of survivors in New Zealand.

Sean's Story

Shane

Failed by his parents, and then failed by the institutions that took over, Shane has fo...

Failed by his parents, and then failed by the institutions that took over, Shane has found hope in his own connections, with a woman he loves, and with fellow survivors at Nelson’s Male Room.

Shane's Story

Stephen

Abused by multiple perpetrators, Stephen finds strength and joy in running, and in look...

Abused by multiple perpetrators, Stephen finds strength and joy in running, and in looking ahead to helping other men to find the strength to face their own challenges and traumas.

Stephen's Story

Tedd

Tedd connected with a source of love that allowed him to transcend the brutality and re...

Tedd connected with a source of love that allowed him to transcend the brutality and rejection inflicted by his parents.

Tedd's Story

Peter Gahlinger

Persistence, good therapy, yoga and meditation, and the loving support of a sensitive partner have helped Peter to heal from the abuses of a Catholic priest.

View his story

Tom

Centuries-old spiritual ceremonies helped unlock Tom’s buried past and propelled him ...

Centuries-old spiritual ceremonies helped unlock Tom’s buried past and propelled him to a healthier, more centered life.

Tom's Story

Tom

Abused by a priest, betrayed by the church, but buoyed by his family, Tom has chosen to...

Abused by a priest, betrayed by the church, but buoyed by his family, Tom has chosen to hold the church accountable.

Tom's Story

Tom

Surviving and healing from years of physical and sexual torment by his mother is Tom’...

Surviving and healing from years of physical and sexual torment by his mother is Tom’s lifelong task. With the support of his wife, and fellow survivors, he is succeeding.

Tom's Story

Tony

Nurtured at first by the purity of his grandmother’s love, Tony has healed through hi...

Nurtured at first by the purity of his grandmother’s love, Tony has healed through his connection to the universe of those whose wounds cry for compassion.

Tony's Story